


To Take The Bitter Pill

by Pinklady6457



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, M/M, Phase Three (Gorillaz), Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 11:07:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20723201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinklady6457/pseuds/Pinklady6457
Summary: Stuart has had enough of being on Plastic Beach.





	To Take The Bitter Pill

**Author's Note:**

  * For [interstellaroverdrive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/interstellaroverdrive/gifts).

> Warning, in case you didn't read the tags, this story contains an attempted suicide. If this triggers you, don't read it.

In his small, cramped underwater cell, Stuart couldn't handle it anymore. He was completely alone, he only had his bastard band leader and a robot that resembled one of the people that was closest to him. He sat in the corner of his room, knees up to his chin, hot tears streaming down his reddened cheeks. He was all alone. All alone with the people he loved and loved him back being perhaps thousands of miles away. 

Stuart began to sob a little louder, burying his face in his hands. 

The lift began to make some rattling noise and Stu turned over. He began to wipe his face and nose with the back of his palm and arm. The small, although just as daunting Cyborg walked in and gestured him to the lift. Stuart got up and walked over with (her? it?) the Cyborg and rode up to the music room. 

* * *

"No, no! That's rubbish!" Murdoc yelled, they were practicing a new song, To Binge. 

"Well, I'm sorry... I can't sing in a duet unless there's another person singing with me..."

"Then I'll do it!"

Murdoc huffed and walked into the recording room with him, muttering some curses. He signaled for Cyborg to turn on the music.

Murdoc cleared his throat before beginning to sing. 

Stuart felt something hearing Murdoc sing that verse, it wasn't good singing, but it was filled with emotion. He sang back with him when it was his verse. He felt there was something about this song...

"There." Murdoc huffed. "I did it for you."

"You barely do anything for me." Stuart muttered before getting slapped in the face.

"Shut up! I do plenty for ya! I made you famous... without me, you would be a nobody." 

"A happy nobody." There was another hit, but Stu barely felt it.

"Shut up you ungrateful twit!"

Stuart held his bright red cheek, eyes watering in pain. 

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." He said walking away before Murdoc could say more. 

Murdoc sighed and told Cyborg to follow him, he couldn't be trusted to use the bathroom alone.

* * *

Stu sped walked into the bathroom and got in before the Cyborg could. He slammed the door shut and locked it tight. He opened up the mirror cabinet and found his pills. He began to open them up and thought to himself. Would it be worth it? Should he do it? Was he not thinking things through. Of course he wasn't, he was an idiot. But... will he ever truly be free?

Ever since that fateful day, it felt that as though he were Murdoc's, and not in a romantic way. Fights, yelling, threats, pain, some of the things he went through being with him. 

But there were some good things, shared cigarettes, listening to their favorite music together, comfortable silence. And gentle touches when Murdoc felt like it, a hand in his hair while the other rubbed his back, the older man kissing his neck ever so softly, as though he were frail china. 

But the pain.

But the love.

What love was there? He only ever wanted a shag.

But he was gentle.

And quick to forget it. He always dumped you out when you finished and only came back to hurt you or get in your pants.

Shut up.

It's the truth. Would you rather live being hurt, or die and never be hurt again. 

What if in another life the same happens?

What if the same doesn't happen? You'll never know.

That's true... 

It is...

Stuart looked down at the pills and wondered what his next life would be like.

* * *

Stuart coughed up the pills onto the floor as Murdoc performed the heimlich maneuver on him. The white, saliva covered pills flying around the area, the bathroom door broken.

"What the hell were you doing?!" Murdoc roared. "I can't have you dead!" 

"But I can't do this anymore!" Stu cried, tears running down even more. "I can't! I can't!"

Murdoc loosened his hold on the younger man, eyes widen. "You... what?"

"I don't wanna live anymore!" Stu sat on the edge of the bathtub and buried his face in his hands. "You made my life hell!"

Murdoc tensed up. "Hey, hey, hey... I'm sorry-"

"Oh you can say that over and over again and that'd make no difference!" He screamed. "I don't know what to expect from you, one day you hate me, the next day you're all over me!"

Murdoc was silent.

Stuart huffed and stood up. "I'm taking a nap..." he muttered. 

"Stu... I..."

Stuart walked out and Murdoc didn't finish his sentence. Which was fine, Murdoc didn't know what to say anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if my story was a downer. I just haven't been in a good place lately and this is the only thing I can write for now. Gabbie, sorry this is such a depressing early birthday gift. But still, happy birthday. But to be honest, I don't think it's very good myself.


End file.
